The major seminary that the Bishop assigned me to was St. Mary's Seminary and University in the Roland Park section of Baltimore, Maryland.
Toward the end of July I drove down to St. Mary's for an interview. I drove a vehicle that was owned by the seminary and had GPS installed inside of it. I was also using the Google GPS on my cell phone. The two systems did not agree with each other about which route I should take to reach St. Mary's.
On the way down I relished the "debate" between the virtues of taking the toll road for most of the way down as opposed to the virtues of the non-toll interstate, but I began to get frustrated once I arrived in the Baltimore metropolitan area and the two systems were still debating with each other, each telling me to go in the exact opposite direction from the other. Since I followed the directions that Google gave me to get down to Baltimore I decided to follow the directions from the car's GPS now that I was in the city.
I was already late for the interview so I wasn't very pleased when the car's GPS took me to a fancy gated community and insisted that it had done its job and that I had arrived at my destination. I shut the car's system off and vowed never to doubt the wisdom of Google again.
Google brought me promptly to my destination.
Now, let me tell you something about St. Mary's; before seminarians are given their assignment they are required to do their own research on the prospective schools and write a summary of the merits of the top three schools they would like to attend, ranking them from most desirable to least desirable. I had done my homework on the three schools that I was considering. I talked to people who were attending each of the three schools and gathered as much information as I could from the internet. During this process I am sure that I saw every picture that was ever posted about St. Mary's. I knew the building was impressive, in fact that's what everyone said about it in their comments, but nothing could have prepared me for the sense of awe I felt as I drove down the narrow, tree-lined lane that Google was guiding me through, to the sudden opening that made all of those internet images come to life. There she was. There was no mistaking the building from all of the pictures I had seen, yet somehow she seemed much larger, much grander, than anything in my imagination.
There she stood, the grand Lady of Roland Avenue.
Since it was after hours when I arrived I knew I would have to find some way to catch the attention of the Vice Rector, Fr. Griswold, who was scheduled to meet me. As soon as I stood up to get out of the car I realized I had a problem -- I had to go to the bathroom. I had to go badly and my body was not going to give me much time to resolve the situation. I ran up the steps, banged on the door and rang the doorbell, with visions of making a first impression by wetting my pants.
There was no sign of life coming from inside the building and I could feel my body telling me that it couldn't keep the floodgates closed much longer.
I fumbled with my cell phone to call the vice rector, but my body was letting me know that my time was up. I looked over at some bushes that were off to the side of the building -- if I could just make a dash for them before the vice rector, or anybody else, answered the door ---
I ran for the bushes. Then I heard the front door of the building opening and the vice rector called my name.
(more, later...)
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