The thing that struck me the most about two contrasting images of Christ in St. Cecilia Cathedral in Omaha was how the two images showed very different notions of "kingship" and love: the kingship of triumph and the kingship of vulnerability; love characterized by longing and love characterized by fulfillment.
The first image is a crucifix from Mexico or Central America. It graphically shows the suffering and humiliation of Christ on the cross. The wounds on his body are open; the expression on his face is gaunt; his mouth hangs open and his eyes seem hollow, as if he is on the verge of death.
The second image in the Cathedral shows an older, stronger and more mature Christ. This is Christ triumphant -- Christ enthroned in his victory. His body seems stocky and sturdy with power.
Both images -- Christ humiliated, suffering and dying, and Christ resurrected, triumphant and reigning over the New Creation -- are expressions of Jesus' transcendent love and mercy. Love is shown in the image of Christ on the cross, bleeding the substance of his life as he gives without holding anything back. Love is also shown in the image of Christ enthroned, because his sacred heart figures prominently. His heart is surrounded by thorns and inflamed with the fire of passion for humanity.
There is something to be said for using thorns and fire to depict a loving heart. It feels good to be drawn out of oneself and into the life of another, yet this self-transcending love also entails pain and suffering. When one is drawn out of oneself and into the life of another, one suffers the longing of separation from the beloved. One also feels pain when one is helpless to protect the beloved from the physical and emotional pain of everyday life. To love is to experience the pain of limitation. This pain is inseparable from the joy of being in love. To love is to be wounded.
It might sound strange to associate love with a wound, but anyone who has ever been in love -- not only romantically, but also in the form of friendship or the protective love one might have toward a child, or a disabled or aged adult -- knows the pain that accompanies the pleasure of pouring out one's heart for the sake of another, and the realization that even to give one's life would not be enough to express the intensity of one's devotion to the well-being of the other.
Love is pain mixed with ecstasy as one wants to be with the beloved at all times, even though this would be neither practical nor desirable. Love is the ecstasy and suffering that one experiences when one wants to do everything possible to heal the pain and the suffering of the beloved. This is where we encounter Christ. We encounter Christ through the pain and ecstasy of self-transcending love.
A person who loves is simultaneously whole and wounded; a person who loves simultaneously experiences the joy of knowing that one's existence has meaning, and the pain of knowing that one is incapable of adequately expressing one's love.
When you are in love you forget yourself for a period of time and you are completely consumed by your desire for the well-being of another. There is a sense of fulfillment, which is the emotional reward of love, and a sense of emptiness, as you long to embrace, accompany, and console the beloved when the beloved is not present.
When the beloved is absent, you do not stop being in love, rather you live your love through longing and desire. Whether as lover or as beloved, when you are apart, you feel an absence that you could never feel without knowing the fullness that comes from having someone in your life who gives your life meaning and purpose.
Being loved and being in love gives you a reason to go on living. When you are loved you are strengthened to be a better person, in order to be more worthy of the love that someone else has entrusted you with, even though love is something that can never be earned.
When you are loved you feel as though you are understood, and accepted for who you are, even as you strive, in response to love, to be something more.
You feel as though the lover, uniquely, sees into your soul and sees you as you really are, yet loves you in spite of this -- even because of it. There is nothing you need conceal from your lover because your lover loves you in your strengths and in your weaknesses -- especially in your weaknesses.
As you are convicted by this unrelenting love, often mixed with frustration and disappointment for both the lover and the beloved, you strive to reduce the pain and the suffering that you cause in this relationship.
You encounter the true nature of love -- you encounter Christ -- when you reject the temptation to reject one of the dimensions of his personhood. You cannot encounter Christ if you only focus on the pain of love -- and on his suffering and death. You also have to experience the joy of love -- and of Christ's resurrection and triumph. Likewise, you cannot encounter Christ if you only embrace the joy of his resurrection while excluding his humiliation, suffering and death.
The Christ who died as an outcast and a criminal, in utter poverty, is the same Christ who rose triumphantly, and has begun his reign over all creation.
Both images of Christ signify his kingship. There is the kingship of Christ crowned with thorns and enthroned on a cross, and the kingship of Christ crowned with victory and enthroned as the head of the New Creation. It is necessary to embrace the one form of kingship in order to embrace the other.
The crucifixion is inseparable from the resurrection; suffering and humiliation are inseparable from the victory and glory of God. The joy and the pain of our love for an absent lover is an icon for our love for a God whose presence we do not always feel. It is also an icon for God's unrelenting love for us, even as we turn away to avoid God's love.
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