The Grand Lady of Roland Avenue

The Bishop has accelerated my process of discernment for the priesthood by allowing me to move on to a major seminary after just one year in the minor seminary in Pittsburgh. Usually guys with advanced degrees are required to spend two years at St. Paul's before moving on.

The major seminary that the Bishop assigned me to was St. Mary's Seminary and University in the Roland Park section of Baltimore, Maryland.

Toward the end of July I drove down to St. Mary's for an interview. I drove a vehicle that was owned by the seminary and had GPS installed inside of it. I was also using the Google GPS on my cell phone. The two systems did not agree with each other about which route I should take to reach St. Mary's.

On the way down I relished the "debate" between the virtues of taking the toll road for most of the way down as opposed to the virtues of the non-toll interstate, but I began to get frustrated once I arrived in the Baltimore metropolitan area and the two systems were still debating with each other, each telling me to go in the exact opposite direction from the other. Since I followed the directions that Google gave me to get down to Baltimore I decided to follow the directions from the car's GPS now that I was in the city.

I was already late for the interview so I wasn't very pleased when the car's GPS took me to a fancy gated community and insisted that it had done its job and that I had arrived at my destination. I shut the car's system off and vowed never to doubt the wisdom of Google again.

Google brought me promptly to my destination.

Now, let me tell you something about St. Mary's; before seminarians are given their assignment they are required to do their own research on the prospective schools and write a summary of the merits of the top three schools they would like to attend, ranking them from most desirable to least desirable. I had done my homework on the three schools that I was considering. I talked to people who were attending each of the three schools and gathered as much information as I could from the internet. During this process I am sure that I saw every picture that was ever posted about St. Mary's. I knew the building was impressive, in fact that's what everyone said about it in their comments, but nothing could have prepared me for the sense of awe I felt as I drove down the narrow, tree-lined lane that Google was guiding me through, to the sudden opening that made all of those internet images come to life. There she was. There was no mistaking the building from all of the pictures I had seen, yet somehow she seemed much larger, much grander, than anything in my imagination.

There she stood, the grand Lady of Roland Avenue.

Since it was after hours when I arrived I knew I would have to find some way to catch the attention of the Vice Rector, Fr. Griswold, who was scheduled to meet me. As soon as I stood up to get out of the car I realized I had a problem -- I had to go to the bathroom. I had to go badly and my body was not going to give me much time to resolve the situation. I ran up the steps, banged on the door and rang the doorbell, with visions of making a first impression by wetting my pants.

There was no sign of life coming from inside the building and I could feel my body telling me that it couldn't keep the floodgates closed much longer.

I fumbled with my cell phone to call the vice rector, but my body was letting me know that my time was up. I looked over at some bushes that were off to the side of the building -- if I could just make a dash for them before the vice rector, or anybody else, answered the door ---

I ran for the bushes. Then I heard the front door of the building opening and the vice rector called my name.

(more, later...)

How Lectio Divina Might Very Well Be Thought of As Being the "School of Prayer"

As is true of most people, I found it relatively easy to learn prayers by rote, such as the Our Father, at a very early age. Once I was a little older and got the hang of it, the Holy Rosary came fairly easily too, by keeping in mind that I should have a kind of "soft focus" on the theme for each decade while I allowed the repetition of the Salutation to Mary to detach me from my immediate surroundings so that I may enter more deeply into the mysteries of sacred scripture.

The Liturgy of the Hours was a bit more difficult, and required greater maturity. The hardest part was becoming accustomed to the mechanics of this prayer, knowing how to flip back and forth between the pages and find the appropriate text for each section of the prayer. Once I got the hang of the mechanics of the thing the prayer itself was rather straight-forward; all I really had to do was read and listen for the voice of God. Of course, even this was more difficult that it might seem at first. Frequently the Psalms for a particular hour of liturgy did not fit my immediate mood or state-of-mind; the challenge was to subordinate my thoughts to those of the Church and of Christ speaking to me through the ages. Praying the Liturgy of the Hours is an act of shifting one's attention from oneself to the Mind of the Church.

Contemplative prayer and Eucharistic Adoration took yet another level of maturity. These were more easily done with the assistance of a spiritual text, to pull my focus back to Christ when my mind started to wander, but to simply dwell in the presence of Christ required a solid background in contemplating and becoming familiar with the voice of Christ that comes through frequently reading sacred scripture. In fact, I found that praying the Holy Rosary and the Liturgy of the Hours helped prepare me for more fruitful contemplative prayer.

In all honesty, the prayer that came to me most grudgingly was Lectio Divina. I understood the Lectio as being a slow and contemplative reading of a small section of scripture, followed by silence and focusing on a passage, image or word that resonated with me. The technical aspect of the prayer was to become accustomed to the rhythm and pacing of reading and silence, reading and silence -- but unlike the Liturgy of the Hours, I was never really sure which part of scripture I should read at any given time and there was always the temptation to turn contemplation of sacred scripture into a Bible study characterized by analytical reading.

For these reasons, I thought of Lectio Divina as being the prayer that one should try to become proficient at last, after establishing reasonable proficiency in the other forms of prayer, but I think a reasonable case can be made for seeing the Lectio as the school of prayer, that helps to deepen the other forms of prayer in one's spiritual formation.

The point at which I became more comfortable with the lectio was when I moved away from an analytical "Bible study" approach to reading scripture during the prayer to listening for that single word, phrase, thought, emotion or image that I mentioned above, and turning it over and over in my mind until I heard what God was telling me.

It seems to me that the lectio might be thought of as being the school for other prayers because this skill of extracting a detail and turning it over and over in one's mind is also a fruitful practice when praying memorized prayers, the Rosary and the Liturgy of the Hours. Frequently one is tempted to treat all four of these forms of prayer as something that requires a hard focus -- identifying each segment of the text and placing it, cognitively, in relation to the whole. The method of the lectio, however, suggests another approach. All that is required of one is to grasp the strongest impression or detail and to explore it deeply. This, again, is transferable to contemplative prayer because it provides the person in prayer with something to focus on and to open paths to contemplation.

In this sense, Lectio Divina helps us to slow down and savor sacred scripture. It is the difference between our attempt to have mastery over the text as opposed to allow the text to reveal to us what is in our soul and to speak to us of what God wants us to hear.

How Do Catholics Pray?

Okay, so that was quite a bit of a hiatus from blogging. I will try to pick up and extend earlier themes from last autumn, including posting more of my spiritual autobiography and commentaries I have written that have been published in Pittsburgh Catholic newspaper over the previous 12 months. I also want to write more posts evolving from the work I have been doing this summer with pastoral work, the new evangelization and intentional discipleship, but today I want to share my notes from a young adults meeting at St. Benedict the Moor in Pittsburgh on the role of prayer in the life of the Catholic Church.

Prayer has been a topic that has always had deep meaning for me. In explaining Catholicism to non-Catholics and to non-Christians I don't find it as helpful to get bogged down in questions of religious doctrine or apologetic -- that can come with time -- I think it is generally more fruitful to focus on the Catholic prayer experience. I believe that focusing on prayer life is a way to have constructive interactions across denominations and communions within Christianity, as well as inter and extra-faith dialogue.

Brother James Watson, OFM Cap., conducted the session and led the group in the practice of contemplative prayer. He also provided the group with an introductory course in Lectio Divina. My notes for this blog post focus on a quiz he gave the group about Catholic prayer. These notes provide a general outline of things one should know about Catholic prayer life:

What is a Catholic understanding of what prayer is? Prayer is a response in faith to the promises of God, it is raising one's heart to God, allowing God to know the depths of our hearts, and it is a covenant relationship between a person and God.

The virtue that is the foundation of prayer is not faith, hope or love, although each of those virtues is important; the virtue that is the foundation of prayer is humility -- it is submission to the will of God and the realization that nothing that we do of our own power will endure.

Is there an official prayer of the Catholic Church? Yes; the official prayer of the Church is the Liturgy of the Hours, which contains nine prayer sessions for different hours of the day, each day of the year. This is a way of liturgically experiencing the different phases of each day. The Liturgy of the Hours consists mostly of Psalms, but also readings from the Old and New Testament and passages from writing from Christian tradition.

Is there a prayer that is the source and summit of the Faith? Yes; the Mass is the prayer that is the source and summit of the Faith.

What book of the Old Testament is the "masterwork of prayer"? The book of Psalms is the masterwork of prayer, which is why we pray it during the Liturgy of the Hours. The early church prayed the Psalms, as did Jesus and his disciples and observant Jews 2,000 years ago.

What, for Christians, is the perfect model of prayer? There are a lot of impressive models of prayer for Christians, including Mary's Magnificant at the Annunciation and the Gloria in Excelsis Deo by the angels at the birth of Jesus, but the perfect model of prayer is the Our Father, which Jesus taught the disciples.

What is the right method for personal prayer, is it spontaneous prayer, formulaic prayer, or a combination of the two? Actually, the right method of personal prayer for Catholics is to pray as your heart dictates, in whatever form it takes.

How can we make sure God hears our prayers? Catholics believe that we can be sure that God hears our prayers by praying in the name of Jesus. We believe in the power of the Name.

Why do Catholics pray to Mary and the saints? Catholics pray to Mary and the saints because we want them to pray with us and for us. We do not pray to them in conjunction with God, nor do we pray to them because we believe they can answer our prayers.

When do Catholics believe it is appropriate to offer a prayer of thanksgiving? Catholics do not believe that the only time to offer a prayer of thanksgiving is when we receive something we want, or something that was unexpected, from God. We believe we should offer prayers of thanksgiving under all circumstances and that we should live in a state of thankfulness and praising God -- again, this is something that the Liturgy of the Hours helps us with.

Prayers of praise most immediately recognize that God is God.

How Do Seminarian Pillars of Formation Apply to Anyone Seeking a Deeper Spiritual Life?

The Seminary House on morning in early autumn

When I entered the seminary, a little more than a month ago, I expected to experience challenges that would draw me out of myself, and that would demand that I see the big picture and live for others. I knew that the challenges of seminary life would not allow me to take a single moment for granted, as each moment is pregnant with eternity. I did not expect, however, that the process of formation in the seminary would provide me with lessons that apply to everyone, and that could deepen the lives of every Christian, yet this is what is happening. The same things that are important to the formation of seminarians are important, in a general way, to the formation of anyone seeking a deeper spiritual life.

The four pillars of formation in the seminary are human formation, which involves deepening the ability see and feel the world from somebody else’s perspective; intellectual formation, which involves deepening our curiosity about the world and ideas; spiritual formation, which involves deepening our interior life and our life of prayer; and pastoral formation, involving caring for others and attending to their needs. It is convenient to think about each of these pillars in separation, but they are actually inseparable. We either weaken or strengthen these attributes by everything we think, say and do – or fail to do.

This past week provided many opportunities to deepen these four pillars of formation. The seminarians were fortunate to be among the Pittsburgh pilgrims, led by Bishop David Zubik, to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C. This pilgrimage was an opportunity to deepen our prayer life. Not only did pilgrims pray the Rosary and the Liturgy of the Hours as we traveled to D.C., our prayers continued as we visited each of the shrines contained on the two levels of the Basilica. There were priests available, around the Crypt Church, to hear confessions and confer the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

(This is part of a revised and more complete version of an op-ed piece that appeared The Pittsburgh Catholic Newspaper on October 10, 2014)

My Mother's Role in My Spiritual Formation

Both my Mother and my Father Taught in the University

of Pittsburgh in the School of Social Work. This 

Photo was probably taken in the 1970s or early 80s

My Mother’s Influence

While both my father and my maternal grandmother were essential to my brother and my early spiritual formation, the person who spent the most time with us, and who undoubtedly had the biggest influence on our lives, was my mother. My mother grew up as an only child. She absorbed lessons about her church and the Bible from her parents, both of whom were deeply involved in the ministry of their church. Growing up as a minister’s daughter, however, she was reluctant to become a minister’s wife. She saw how minister’s wives had to be perfect hostesses and how their lives were always on public display, being carefully scrutinized by everyone in the community. My mother, as a young adult, wanted more breathing room. Before she married my father she made him promise that he would forgo the Hawkins family tradition and never enter the clergy. My father agreed to this condition, but began to have doubts when the couple found it difficult to conceive.  My father prayed for a son and promised God that if his prayers were answered he would go into the ministry. Soon afterward, my older brother was conceived and my mother found herself entertaining guests in our home as a newly ordained minister’s wife.

Had I not known the story behind their marriage I never would have suspected that my mother became a clergyman’s wife reluctantly. She threw herself wholly in all of the responsibilities that come with this particular form of ministry. She taught Sunday school, organized women’s literary meetings, volunteered for charitable services and assisted my father in visiting the sick and the bereaved, this in addition to raising two boys and teaching at the university. My grandmother’s passion for the poor influenced my mother also. Her professional career centered on working with children in poverty, which led her to devote a lot of her attention to programs to promote education. She brought these skills and passions with her, in her role as a minister’s wife. She organized programs in her church to promote education.

My mother’s vision of faith was decidedly ecumenical and receptive to interfaith dialogue. It was from her that I learned to appreciate how essential faith is to the cultural life of a society and a community. She saw to it that my brother and I would grow up with broad religious exposure. She enrolled us in a Unitarian nursery school, a Jewish weekend and summer camp, Catholic elementary and middle schools, a Quaker high school, and accompanied our attendance at Presbyterian, Lutheran and Anglican services and Roman Catholic Masses. When it came time for me to make a decision about whether or not I would pursue my long-established interest in Roman Catholicism my mother became my confidante and sounding board; both parents, in the end, were models of support.

(From My Spiritual Autobiography)

How My Grandmother Influenced My Spiritual Formation

This picture of my Grandmother was no doubt taken before I was born

My maternal grandfather, Matthew Levi Emanuel, was a Baptist minister and a school teacher. He died within a year of my birth. My maternal grandmother, however, lived to see both of her grandchildren grow into young adults. My grandmother was a devout member of her church and she was a powerful role-model of faith for my brother and me. The Bible was the center of her life. I never heard her raise her voice in anger when we were around and I very rarely saw her lose her temper. She lived a modest and orderly life. When she had a house, she kept everything in order. As she got older, and moved into an apartment, she had few possessions, beyond what she felt she really needed. She had a particular passion for the poor and the unfortunate. Whenever we were with her and we passed a homeless person, or someone with a severe disability, on the street she would say to us, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” She selflessly volunteered her time and energy for service and outreach in her church.

My grandmother believed in simplicity and was not wasteful. I think this grew out of her compassion for those who were less fortunate. It seemed, to her, particularly sinful to waste the resources that we had while others had to do without. One day, when my parents were away and she was babysitting, I was playing in the attic with the light on in the middle of day. I must have been in third grade at that time. My grandmother came up the steps and turned out the light, telling me not to waste electricity because the only light I needed in the middle of the day was “God’s light”. I remember the sun shining through the window pane, flooding the room with natural light, and thinking to myself, “But our light is better than God’s light.”

(From my Spiritual Autobiography)

Why Seminarians Need Your Prayers

These are the new seminarians at St. Paul Seminary in Crafton, Pa. 

for 2014-2015, along with the rector and vice-rector. Try to see if 

you can find me in this group, lol. This photo, by Chip Kelson, appeared

in this week's edition of Pittsburgh Catholic newspaper.

It has been about a month and half since I entered the seminary. People have asked what the life of a seminarian is like. The seminary is a period of testing and formation; it is a period in which one is nudged beyond one's comfort zone to see how well one holds up under circumstances that are not always completely under one's control. But there are deeper reasons why seminarians need your prayers.

To devote one's life to doing the work of God is a challenge. Whether one's ministry is "secular" or within a religious community, it is important to learn how to live and work within a community; and how to be attentive to the needs an concerns of other people, rather than being self-indulgent and pampering oneself. Life in the seminary should prepare a person for this challenge.

There are four elements of seminary life: human formation, intellectual formation, spiritual formation and pastoral formation. Life in the seminary should cultivate humility, fortitude, perseverance and obedience. Each of these areas of formation require your prayers.

Human Formation: In order to be a good priest you must first be a good human being. Human formation pertains to development of empathetic skills -- the sensitivity of the heart -- and the capacity to live in community.

Intellectual Formation: The priest is always learning and always teaching. Intellectual formation is strengthened by studying philosophy so that one will be able to analyze and synthesize, contrast and compare ideas that are essential building blocks of theology.

Spiritual Formation: A priest must have a deep interior life of prayer. The seminarian has a rich opportunity to develop one's prayer life. The life of the priest must be informed by liturgical and contemplative prayer.

Pastoral Formation: A priest must be prepared to attend to people's needs -- including their spiritual, intellectual and human needs. A priest, and especially a pastor, must be a lover of souls and is defined by care for the souls of his parishioners.

The writings of and about Saint John Marie Vianney provide a solid overview of what is required of pastors, even in the 21st century -- a life that seminary should prepare tomorrow's priests to live. I have found Reflection on Priestly Life: In The Footsteps of St. John Vianney, The Cure of Ars, edited by Leonardo Sapienza, an extremely rich source to study.

One will not be able to live the life of a seminarian, not to mention living as a member of a religious order, a brother, deacon or a priest, without living in intimate and continuous communion with Christ. There is nothing that we can do, in terms of the nature of this calling, on our own power, and there is no room for lukewarm commitments or mediocrity. We need your prayers.